It’s been far too long. It seems that it’s always boredom or stress here lately.

So in order to inject a little whimsy into my small existence, I began adding fun messages to the crawl on the billboard channel. (Now, this is a new thing, mind you, so I haven’t progressed very far with it.) I’ve started small, by adding (from my recently procurred list of fun "National Days") a new "Day" each morning to the crawl to run for the duration of the work day. "Peanut Butter and Jelly Day," for instance, or "Alfred Hitchcock Day".

Of course, anything new or different here is met with a less than enthusiastic response. The first time I instituted this bit of glee, on "National Frozen Food Day", I encouraged the viewing public to "Visit your local grocery store: April __ is National Frozen Food Day!". A merry little note from sweet, convivial Mitten. I rejoiced.

However, my joy was quashed post-haste. Not an hour later some old woman called in and demanded, "Uh, yeah. What is that ’Frozen Food’ thing running on the bottom of the screen?"

Now, a co-worker, having answered the phone, had no clue to what she was referring and thusly handed the phone to me. Again, the question was posed: "What on earth is that "National Frozen Food" thing?"

"That’s what today is," I answered, "It’s just a day, a national day. Something fun. You know, like trivia?" (All sense of normal human speech, of course, having gone straight out the window, such was my chagrin.)

"Oh, weeeellll. My friend here was a wantin’ to know whut that wuz."

And that was that. I get irritated entirely too often. But I mean really, what was the purpose. It was trivia. It was just something fun. No need to pull out the "UH! What is that?" on me!

My excitement about the whimsy lessened considerably for the next week or so. But, I mean, there are just too many fun days to pass up. So today, the most kick ass day so far, is "Name Yourself Day." Obviously, this was not to missed. So boldly I urged all the viewers in TV Land to celebrate the day. "April 9th is "National Name Yourself Day!" You can call me Pete...."

Yup! Pete. All day long. Then, as an afterthought, I changed another part of the crawl. The crawl, in all its audacious glory, now reads, "To Advertise on this Channel, Contact Pete at (555) 555-5555....."

HA! Victory! Now we’ll see if anyone calls asking for Pete....